I wish this were a joke, I really do, but alas I must delve into what a strange world Japan can be. On the same day that the parents were dragged away from their jobs to see me prance about and go on about fruit, they also brought in a special guest to lecture on the merits and characteristics of healthy feces. While fully aware that I haven’t been an elementary school student for quite some time, I can’t for the life of me recall even a single instance were poop was worth drawing the entire population of the school into a room. This was of course being approached from an educational perspective, but to imagine any of my American classmates taking it seriously at all would be quite a stretch.
Don’t let that smile fool you, this is serious business!
At this point in the presentation, Smiles here had detailed and nicknamed each type of the excrement. The slide above states that when you eat too much or are sick, it will become watery – great stuff to know. As you can see by the expression, his is not the ideal consistency. But if that’s no good, then what is? I’m sure that you must be asking yourself this question by now, so let me show you!
Here our first grader Saki-chan is showing off the ideal poo in terms of size and weight. Our guest was kind enough to bring a number of these for the students to get a feel for. Again, the idea of kids handling poop in a serious manner, even a fake nugget, would just seem impossible back home.
The kids were very well behaved throughout the duration on the presentation, which is clearly a testament to the small size of the school, though when asked for thoughts and questions at the end they were completely silent. It took nothing less than the teacher prying questions out of them to break the awkward silence. Only after something was forced from each student were the teachers content that they had been taught everything they would need to know about bowel movements and their well-being.
I’m sure that you can deduce just how seriously I was taking this whole thing.